I do also have a twenty year old, and I also just gave birth to this business. It has seem to taken all of me and now I am fighting my balance with who I am now. I dove into my depths to pull something out of me. It isn’t in me anymore. I miss it.
I am a creative type, so the filming was where I felt comfortable. The putting my story out there for all to see was another. Do I talk about my family’s mental illness? How depression and anxiety run in my family, and mania in my daughter’s side.
Maybe I would then need to talk about my horror of health issues I have had over the years. I was in the hands of the medical system run by insurance companies. Pharmaceuticals keeps me in a daily feeling of insanity and exhaustion. Meanwhile I am noticing the modalities that actually release my crushing pain are not even in any network.
I also raised my daughter by myself. Well, that is far from the truth because of the legal system and my family. They do live not where I live, but money does a whole lot.
As I cry out for mothers in this world, may the only answer be of course we will help. What does she need? She should have it, now. She is the queen of life.
I do notice my community acting much differently. Watching a mother carrying her newborn in a car seat. Her six companions, including her husband, enjoy the sunny day with a good laugh getting up from brunch and walking to the car. A newborn is a month old. A woman carries the baby for nine months and then the next eighteen years?
I would like there to be another way. I do know my boundaries are a constant need to refine. I am not the one who freely asked for help in the past in a way that feels empowered rather than a victim. Much to my unbelievable dismay, I should have.
The time following birth can be a real way to connect to this new being as a whole new being. Taking the time and sanity check to understand that there is more to learn than just figuring out where they will go to school. Your husband has a penis if you think he has the answers you are in for a world of hurt.
Demand the things you need for success. Then sit back and do your best. The partner will figure it out his/her own way. Please just ask for the carseat to be carried, or suggest a baby carrier. Whichever they prefer.